Her peculiar tendency cares ...

A man with whom she now lives - an alcoholic. "If he does not drink, just gold - it is better to not" - she laments. - "He gave me all happy when he does not drink, but drink, and how it is replaced, it becomes rough, can hit, all the money spent on drinks. I myself do not work - I'm not one to live on. Encode it! ". She wants everything to remain as is, only my husband stopped drinking, but that does not happen. And if a miracle did happen, then began in earnest a sober life, he is likely to go away from it. After all, a woman needs a man only if he continues to drink, but if refuses alcohol, refuses to and from it. This woman can not live with an independent man. It is not how to build a relationship with him, he feels uncomfortable, but knows how to deal with drunkards: lecture, supervise, call the doctor, watch out not to gash. Her peculiar tendency cares about someone, it is necessary to feel their necessity, she is afraid of loneliness. Afraid of losing him and unknowingly provokes him to drink. For the same reason the alcoholic is survived by her husband's death very hard. The fact that the marriage was happier, the better a woman can not cope with his grief, again to arrange his life. But if marriage is full of misery, while her husband's death is extremely painful. It would seem that it is freed from the suffering associated with alcoholism, but no wife mourns the fact that it is not brought his case to the end, did not save his "ward", grieving that he had ruined her life. And indeed, her life lost its meaning, personal problems cropped up, and it exacerbates the negative emotions. In many families, women living with alcoholism from generation to generation. First, my father was an alcoholic, then the husband ... little girl feels for her father drinker ambivalent feelings: love and hate. She wants to save him and heal. But this usually does not work. Then she chooses a ready or potential alcoholic, to finally achieve his goal - to cure him. With her husband, this idea also fails and she is taken ... for her son. Addressing the alcoholic does not consider himself sick and therefore can not be cured, but his relatives believe that they are healthy and sick only one drunk and all the forces trying to get him treated. Women are eager to save man from sin. And in my head thought: how awful, I can not stand it. Constant question: what can we do? how to fight? And the usual answer is: to strengthen, tighten control to a single step without careful attention, and even better "take damage", "sew" medicine "to prick" in general "code" that is not drawn to fear. And the more - the better. Some of them say: 'slips, drink - let die. " Nothing less. A man has quite different plans, he just waiting for the case to avoid such treatment. The situation at first sight hopeless. Can not help a man if he does not want to force it to heaven does not drag. But this is only if we assume that the problem of one man, only he is ill and near the woman, the one who lives with one family, one who so badly wants to help him be healthy.