Prick all stopped.

I no mental load does not feel so never thought about suicide. But how "dope" vmazhus, so after half an hour begins depression, bad thoughts in my head climb. So I decided not to lead to sin and to "screw" to tie. Thrown at once in one day, because if it did not work immediately, then hopefully it would not matter what. The desire to start again distract myself as best I could. Went to work and plowed so that he came home and fell from exhaustion. Time, and desire nothing else was missing. And on Friday, used to go to the bath, steam bath - too distracting. Life has become somehow better. POST - It is said that you became quite different after visiting the Center ... - Yes, I very much changed, because it tied up with drugs. Whether this is due to the fact that I was told at the AIDS Center? Probably. Now I live quite differently. I am currently working at the factory, but soon the fire - still do not want to permanence. Want freedom: where you wish, and there you go. I'm doing. Prick all stopped. With their former friends do not communicate. I live like a normal person. The fact that I was HIV-positive, they know very few of his friends. Parents, too, I said, just whether they remember it, I do not know. These parents ... And the rest to know and do not need. Now I can say that he was happy. Why? Probably, because for me does not already exist such problems, what do you have healthy. Home is your problem - it's excessive severity, and it kills you. I, conversely, do not make any plans, just live your life and even benefit from it - like you, very much. Somehow you communicate? - With my friend, who was also infected and threw prick, we decided to create a "club" just like us. Learn that someone has a friend living with HIV, and as a drawing it to our company. Gradually, in our "club" were a lot of people - now it's almost all Ulyanovsk HIV infection, ex-addicts who came to their senses and stopped. For the most part come to us young people. All of them are forever tied to drugs. Yes, it is more and they do not need - we have everything and anything we do not deny yourself. Our "club" is going to some apartment we just relax with my girls, drink. It happens that accidentally fall into the company, and healthy people. We do not kicks, but none of them are not yet infected. So far: We try and somehow develop spiritually. I sometimes write poems. Together we do music - to collect and play guitars. Anyway, what to play, the main thing that was intreresno. Because everything's better to spend the rest of his life interesting, good and beautiful. - You have not tried to find at least some way? - HIV infection is not treated, I'm sure of it. Ulyanovsk recently visited a Korean doctor, they say, even cured four. Somehow I can not believe: Show me who heals, just fun to be with him to talk. Because all The fact that I have no desire to be treated. I'm just fine living. And none of our company, at least in words, is not going to be treated.